I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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