Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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