They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
So vagazzling was a success
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize