Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
