The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
