Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
What a dumb baby whore.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
