What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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