LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
