ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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