you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
