Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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