so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
