There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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