that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
well you can't waste a boner
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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