Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
