if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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