I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
