My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
My cat gives me a boner
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
