I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Last time i carry you out of a forest
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Randomize
