i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
