omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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