How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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