u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
