If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
This is my gift to your gina
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
