dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
