Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
