Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
