Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
