so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize