if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
