so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
