It's Friday. Sex?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
