The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Terrible idea I love it
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize