The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize