I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
