You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
