I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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