i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
