I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
