Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
