so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
