I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
