Who wears a wallet chain?!
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
