Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
