3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
