fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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