So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
