Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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