You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
