yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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