Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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