After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Do you still have your period?
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
