I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
should my penis look like a turkey
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
