I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
