You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
