hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
be right there i have to get my cape
Randomize
