I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
