he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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