That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
